I Love Strippers!

Image from 1943 New Orleans Strip Club

I love strippers!! A statement you probably don't hear too often from a married mother of two. I'm sure it got your attention though and now that I have your eyes I want to elaborate.

The type of stripper I am referring too isn't the "traditional" kind you might be thinking of. The type I refer to are individuals who strip down their outer walls, facade's, fronts, masks and all other socially approved protection from the truth of what lies both outside and inside.

I had a visit recently with a man who used to be our neighbour. He was always delightful, articulate and kind but this time he was different.  He has been through serious trauma as a soldier who spent time in Iraq compounded by several other personal issues. We have not seen him since 2011 and in the interim he has spent time travelling across the USA, essentially stripping.

It was uniquely refreshing spending an afternoon with a person who was stripped down, open, genuine, honest. His honesty was not just for the good things as did furnish us with wonderful stories of travel, spirit and truth but also shared the dark, real things that most of us shy away from. He has and is facing himself and working toward being the best HE can be, leaving the traditional, cookie-cutter expectations of the world behind as he travels HIS journey. We had an amazing exchange of truth, energy and love from a stripped down place. There we were, all of us, authentic and facing one another with full accountability of our choices, acceptance of our feelings and thoughts on our improvement.

This visit sparked my thinking internally about the appreciation I have for those I deem "strippers", and more importantly my motivation to become one 100% of the time. Let me preface this by saying there are very FEW people that I would give this lovely title too but I hope there will be more after this post is shared. It is indeed a difficult task to remove ones clothes in front of strangers and to stand there completely physically exposed and open to criticism, judging, stigma and negative energy as a traditional stripper.  It is equally, and I would submit exponentially more difficult to literally be stripped down and be openly and authentically facing the world. No masks, no facade's or socially acceptable phrases or expectations. Nothing, just who YOU really are living and operating in your space the way YOU want.

The truth is, we are all the same at our source and are all connected. We somehow loose sight of this fact during the haze of a fast-paced, socially acceptable life.

Take a moment today to visualize what your life would be life as a 'stripper'. You could face the world with 100% authenticity, love and positive intention. All your walls are gone, no protection from the outside but a pathway for your energy to flow and exchange with others. You could and would be living the life YOU want, on your terms, on your clock and in the manner that best serves your positive intentions and brings you back to the source, whatever that looks like for you.

 You WILL be judged but it would no longer matter.

Would you consider becoming a 'stripper' an option for your life? or is the safety of the conventional, protective space better for you?

I would love to hear your thoughts and continue the conversation in the comments.

You're Fat and It's Your Fault: Guest Blog

Myself and My Husband - Evolution Rewind Ring Shoot

Image by: Hayley Marie Photography

My two favorite concepts/words are ACCOUNTABILITY and TRUTH. I truly believe that is where all of your personal power is housed. Today I welcome my husband David with his first guest blog discussing his experience with these very issues, taking accountability and responsibility for your life in the general sense. Specifically he wants to introduce you to his friend pain and truth as they  pertain to life changes. We have just started a new year and I would wager that the majority of the goals/resolutions have to do with fitness and weight loss so this post will be a great motivator.

Come on let’s face it if you’re fat it’s your fault. Ouch that hurts!  Hey, that’s not politically correct.  How dare I say such a thing?  Please give me something I can digest, you say.  Like how about a magical fat loss pill? Oh yeah that didn’t work and made me ill.  Wait a second what about that new juice cleanse diet that so and so just lost all that weight using? That’s right it all came back and with a vengeance not to mention too much planning, too much preparation, the mess and regardless what they said I was hungry most of the time when they promised I wouldn’t be.  Oh I know!  What about that packaged diet plan where I buy all their food? That’s right I just couldn’t justify the cost or really afford it as it was another temporary fix with yet another big letdown.  Hold on; hold a minute while you munch on that tasty comfort food snack that says I will deal with this tomorrow.  Well honey let me remind you today is the tomorrow of yesterday and that ditch isn’t going to dig itself.  

Companies have made millions in convincing you that there is a painless way to lose weight without all the discomforts that come with a lifestyle change.  What was that? a lifestyle change?  Oh I’m not looking for that, I am just looking to drop some weight then resume my life again.  Well then refer to the top paragraph and continue to ignore the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room or better referred to as the truth.  

Before I go on let’s be realistic as this applies to adults who are in charge of what they eat and not the many abused children who are at the mercy of what their parents feed them. Yes it is a form of abuse to feed your children unhealthy food. Have you seen the statistics on Childhood obesity?  Let me preface the rest of this piece by making clear that my intention is not to hurt or belittle anyone but to merely bring forth the truth and illustrate what we all already know.

Okay so the “truth”.  The truth is a lifestyle change! As the specifics mentioned above in the first paragraph are not sustainable.  Even if there are few who are successful in those endeavors the fact is they are the exception to the rule.  So what constitutes a lifestyle change? Yeah you already know the equation for good health – a balanced diet low in fat, sugar and processed foods – high in fruits, vegetables, nuts and lean meats, etc.  – regular exercise, rest and low stress.  Wow no wonder few achieve their goals in this instant gratification society.  It sounds simple enough but can be extremely challenging if not approached right.

Alright enough already what is the secret sauce?  Embracing and accepting pain and discomfort.  Okay for all of you still reading and ready to commit to change start small with realistic goals.  As you build momentum you can push a little harder.  

Rather than continue preaching I will share my personal experience.  I struggled to bring forth change in my daily habits I continued to fail only to resort back to my unhealthy lifestyle but most often to a higher degree.  I started to lose confidence in myself and would often give up with the “I’ll start tomorrow syndrome”.  Remember today is yesterday’s tomorrow and tomorrow truly never comes in terms of definition.

After so many failed attempts I was experiencing a far greater pain than that of a lifestyle change, my pain was internal and was haunting my self-esteem and well being.  Little did I realize I was becoming accustomed to pain and discomfort but of the unhealthy kind.  Realizing this was a turning point and became one of my greatest motivating factors.  I understood that in order to be successful I not only had to expect and accept the pain and discomfort but I had to embrace it, look forward to it and eventually crave it.  We have all heard the sayings, “No pain no gain – Pain is weakness leaving the body”.  Well this knowledge has been around for years however multimillion dollar companies with large marketing budgets have been very successful in making us believe we can achieve our goals without pain and discomfort. 

 Yes losing weight or any lifestyle change is painful and brings forth much discomfort in the beginning.  I use the word pain as that was my experience.  Discomfort yeah but in the beginning discomfort really didn’t capture it as well as the simple term pain.  I am neither a doctor nor an expert however I am just like many of you reading this, the end user.  

So back to my story, I committed to change via the acceptance that pain was key in successfully changing my lifestyle.  I planned my meals, my workouts, etc. as that was the easy part.  What I changed in my approach was in the result I was looking for – pain & discomfort.  The result was instantaneous! Wow I didn’t even have to wait the thirty days it normally takes to see a difference.  I humored myself all along the way.  I would wake up and pain had become my unrelenting friend.  She was always there putting me in check.  My mindset had shifted as I knew when she appeared I was making strides and she was a reflection I was moving in the right direction.  The pain I had been feeling from being unsuccessful and losing confidence was slowly migrating to my friend who I would start out with each day.  I really didn’t realize this until the monumental shift had already taken place.  This was in as little as a couple of weeks.  That’s right weeks, not days remember we are acknowledging the truth.  Again my expected result was not weight loss as in a couple of weeks my weight loss was minimal.  We all know weight loss is a marathon not a sprint.  If you lose weight in the metaphor of a sprint and keep it off you are definitely the exception to the rule.  

How did I make pain my friend?  I awoke and went to sleep each night expecting her ever presence first.  She didn’t just arrive she was there.  So I talked to her and would take her down a notch or two with counting my blessing no matter how small.  Breathing is a constant and has been used for centuries in mediating and being more in the moment.  I would be thankful for breathing as it is a necessity to live so I would give thanks.  I would give thanks for my loved ones, where I lived, that I was in a society that is so overfed that we have this overweight dilemma.  How thankful I was not to be in a position of pain from lack of not having any food and many people in the world who face this daily.  Stop and take a moment to ponder that.  Feeling embarrassed?  Me too.  

One day when conversing with my new friend (pain) I thanked her for pulling me into the moment that I strive for in meditation each day.  Here all this time pain brought me into the moment much easier than all the breathing techniques had.  Pain was slowly becoming a catalyst for improvement in so many other areas in my life as well.  Those in my life were recognizing I was changing and would make positive remarks.  I was gaining confidence each day and now had a way to measure change, yeah you got it by my new good friend – pain.  I even named her as we were becoming quite close.  As time went on I had good days and bad days but she was always there.  When I would back slide she was gone and her brother (the internal pain of failure) would return.  He was not my friend and I never liked him.  She despised him as well.  I yearned for her when I would backslide as I came to realize she always had my best interest at hand.

Unfortunately she subsided into obscurity in time (depending on how you apply yourself will determine how long until she subsides).   Months had passed and low and behold I was confident, fit and was enjoying internal peace most of the time.  

As I faced challenges in other areas in my life I knew I had the secret sauce and lost the fear I once carried with change.  As an example I had the confidence to leave a twenty year career that paid good and had me in what is referred to as the “Golden Handcuffs”.  I left that job as it was not fulfilling nor matched my core values and started my own company.  I used the same practice with fear as I did with pain and embraced the change in my career.  My goal was never money but to create an environment that aligned with my core values.  The result of this approach is that I now enjoy working for myself in a successful and fast growing company.  The money was never my goal as the weight loss was never my goal however it became the byproduct.

Again, my intention in writing this piece is to share my experience in hopes that it helps anyone struggling with pain  of weight loss or any change. 

David Hergenroeder  

Thanks David for that digital kick in the ass. Truly your current relationship with gravity, fitness level or any other circumstance IS within YOUR control and power. Even if there is something out of your control in life you can control your response, thus it is all up to YOU. So, wow - I am fat and it's my fault? What a powerful and motivating concept! Cheers to accountability and embracing the uncomfortable to achieve the desirable.

Opportunity

Opportunity can be defined as "a favorable or advantageous circumstance or combination of circumstances" and/or "a favorable or suitable occasion or time". I recently had been presented with a situation that at first glance was at the worst possible time AND the circumstances were certainly not advantageous to me; but things are not always what they seem. Upon further reflection what was first perceived as a road block was an opportunity in disguise. An opportunity for positive change in my life and for personal growth. All of the work will be up to me to convert my current truth into an opportunity for personal evolution. My husband, the perpetual truth teller in my life was the catalyst to the opportunity. Thanks honey xo

Have you ever missed an opportunity because of its disguise? or has a situation presented itself that your initial reaction was not positive but upon deeper reflection morphed itself into an opportunity?

Take the time to look at all the circumstances and situations life presents to you. Can you turn them into opportunities? and change your perception to make the stumbling blocks of life your stepping stones?

"I do not ask to walk smooth paths nor bear an easy load. I pray for strength and fortitude to climb the rock strewn road. Give me such courage and I can scale the hardest peaks alone, And transform every stumbling block into a stepping stone." ~ Gale Brook Burket