Showing posts with label Compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Compassion. Show all posts

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Bruce Gender: Caitlyn's Real Message

Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)


The Internet has been buzzing since Vanity Fair released the images of their July Cover Girl. We bid farewell officially to Olympian Bruce Jenner and say hello to Caitlyn Jenner, gold medal winner for bravery and ironically balls.

Bruce sat down with Diane Sawyer back in April and discussed his transformation as well as all of the personal conflict and struggle he has had internally his entire life (See the story here).

The details of his journey is not necessary to re write here but Caitlyn comes to us with a message that transcends the lines of the LGBT and/or Transgender community.

Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)

Of course she is an amazing spokeswoman for the Transgender community and I don't want to take anything away from the awareness that is being raised but to me Caitlyn's message is that of authenticity and has an inclusive application. At age 65 she is now beginning to live her authentic life. Imagine waiting so long? I'm sure most of you can as many people I know don't live authentically, not 100% anyway. 

Society and the judgement of others has such a strangle hold on people. Working in the fashion industry I see it in my clients all the time.  A great example is the moment when  someone is authentically or naturally drawn to something, a piece of clothing or an accessory. It kind of goes like this,

"Oh, I love this" ... BUT

But society will judge me.
But someone will say something hurtful or rude to me.
But no one will understand.
But I have no where to wear it.

Its a kin to a what if but its what I call a BUT IF, AKA an excuse.

Let's get real: " Society" or "they" will always be judgemental. Do you really put the opinions of strangers above your own? Recognize it is your OWN fear and take your power back.

Someone may say something hurtful or rude to you or about you, but if you don't believe it, who cares? What others think of you is none of your business.

Someones lack of understanding is their issue, not yours. You cannot be responsible for what someone does or doesn't 'get'. You can attempt to educate but let your energy to convert go no further, you need it for being fabulous.

Lastly, from a person who wears sequins to the grocery store, trust me when I confirm YOU can make "Hollywood", "New York" or wherever else you deem appropriate,wherever you are in the world in that moment. In other words there is a place to wear everything you have in your closet, right here, right now if you so choose. 
Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)

What Caitlyn has done is started an important dialogue. The press and social media is bogged down with all the details of unimportance like; fake tits, photo shop, shaved adam's apple, reality show, fame whore, Kardashian who gives a fuck?

Her Message (from my perspective):

1) The dialogue that has been started about the legitimacy of gender dysphoria. It is recognized in the DSM-5, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (by the American Psychiatric Association) as a very REAL condition. "DSM-5 aims to avoid stigma and ensure clinical care for individuals who see and feel themselves to be adifferent gender than their assigned gender. It replaces the diagnostic name “gender identity disorder”with “gender dysphoria,” as well as makes other important clarifications in the criteria. It is importantto note that gender nonconformity is not in itself a mental disorder. The critical element of gender dysphoriais the presence of clinically significant distress associated with the condition." I personally feel people are born the way they are born and it is not necessarily a "mental disorder", however if the DSM acknowledgement will get the Trans community the clinical support they need then I view this as positive and a resource to use as education.

2) The discussion about women. There is much talk online about what it means to be a woman, the issues we face as a gender and our unique set of circumstances. It has also shed some light on how far we have come but also how far we still have to with respect to equal pay for equal work, the scrutiny we are under for our appearance and unique pressures we face as women.

3) Authenticity: People are complaining (mostly religious hypocrites and the ignorant) about being a scam and a lot of people feel that they have the exceptional ability to speak for "god" and knows what "god wants". WOW! Maybe they can give me lottery numbers too? Being who you are ALWAYS comes with some kind of risk or cost. Here the cost has been, thus far, "hurting" the people that she loves and who love her. But let's consider what is gained? A life of non-deception, freedom of expression, freedom of choice that aligns with your authentic self or what I call your source. An authentic sense of happiness and radiating positive energy to those closest to her. When you are authentically happy you can feel it, as can others. A chance to really look at oneself, at the source and become what YOU want. She is also another example of money not bringing happiness. She is extremely wealthy and famous yet she spent decades struggling and living a lie. No money can buy the peace that living an authentic life can provide.

4) Courage and/or Bravery: This discussion about being brave and having courage to stand up in the face of the uncompassionate, ignorant masses. She is receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage award at the ESPYS in July.  Being honest is not always easy and one risks ridicule, hurt, and backlash. for Caitlyn this is on a much grander scale because she is in the public eye. Regardless of who you are there is always some level of risk/cost involved with honesty which could explain why so many people are not.

5) Tolerance and Respect: You do not have to agree with someones choices or understand them to be respectful. At the very least you should respect someones right to choose. In this instance of legitimate gender dysphoria I don't personally believe that Caitlyn had a choice per se. I feel she was born Caitlyn but named Bruce. She did choose, after a long battle to conform to the herd (society) to take the courage to finally become Caitlyn and live authentically.

6) Education: Educating people is the key to Tolerance and Respect. I have a son with Down Syndrome and I can't even believe how ignorant and unaccepting people still are even though this is the most common "chromosomal disorder". I can't even image how it is for people in the Trans Gender community.  Education "normalizes" issues and people who are perceived to not fit into the herd or society's view on how generic we should all be to coexist. The more Caitlyn is out there, the more people are forced to read about, look at and examine my points above.


7) Inspiration.: Caitlyn's story should serve to inspire us ALL. Imagine gender lines and assignments melting away and we all look at ourselves and our source as humans. The authenticity and bravery discussed above has been enough to inspire me. Think of the people who are still living lies. Perhaps this story has helped them come clean and live authentically. There is truly nothing more powerful, even if the story helps one person. She is leading by example and through bold and powerful action, not just words. I feel we are all here, in this shared  life experience with the ability to assist and help others. Service to others comes in many forms, today it comes in the form of a woman. 

Thank you Caitlyn and welcome to your new life.





Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Take The Pledge



Today we bring awareness of the R word.Yes people still say it. Stop. It is offensive, hurtful and reflects only your lack of intelligence. I will happily distribute thesauruses to those who need assistance in choosing another word to express dislike over something. To those who say it to hurt another person or to insult them I will happily dispense my disgust. The R word is as unacceptable as the N word and other rude words. Keep your BS excuse about your First Amendment rights to free speech to yourself also. I have my rights too as a mother, advocate and human being, hence this post. Show compassion, respect and love to others. Show yourself respect by expanding your vocabulary and eliminating this word. People first language in ANY situation is always a more appropriate alternative. Many people say "It's only a word" as if it is no big deal. If that is the case it should not be a big deal to stop or refrain from using it either.

Blake and I Thank You.

Will you take the pledge to put an end to the R word?





Saturday, August 16, 2014

#HashtagsHurt: Drag Queen Edition

Once again I was face to screen with the horror of #Hashtags.  Yes they are a useful digital media organizational tool but sometimes they are hurtful. I used the hashtag #DownSyndrome today with an image I posted that included my son Blake. I always use the tag any time my son Blake is pictured on Instagram or Twitter with the intention to share his latest triumph, fun or activity with other parents, siblings, family members, educators or people with Down Syndrome who use these social networking platforms. When time permits I also click on hashtag's and explore other peoples images.  Tonight I came across this image:

Looks like your run of the mill Drag Queen, right? 

Yes, until you see the #HashTag included with the ever so charming #wasted &  #trashed tags was #DownSyndrome to caption the image above.


This bothered me. Was it the #Wonklash? or his/her declared intoxication? or is it another example of why #HashtagsHurt and the insensitivity of our society. I am not talking about PC bullshit either. People should be free to say or express anything they want so long as it is not intended hurtful to others or a deliberate attempt to get laughs at another person or group's expense. I love a intelligent debate and to entertain ideas/views that oppose my own. It is a true path to growth in my opinion, but this is different.

There are several derogatory terms I could have used in my initial annoyance at this Queen's tag choice, all of which are insensitive, disrespectful and hurtful. Instead here is my reply.

I have no interest or time fight hate with hate or intolerance with more bigotry. It is time though to create a dialogue about peoples words and insensitivity's. Cyber bullies are a kin to what I now call #HashtagHaters. 

I would not change my son Blake for the world but I would love to change the world for him. Every time I hear someone use the word Retard I am going to educate them. Every time I see someone picking on a person with any disability I am going to stop them. Every time I see an injustice or wrong doing to ANY community I am going to stand up. Also any time someone uses a #HurtfulHashtag I am going to call them out and let them know that #HashtagsHurt and to perhaps apply a little more effort in your "jokes" or the very least have a little compassion.
 I have compassion for the person who used this tag. I feel sorry that they cannot experience the joy and love my son with Down Syndrome has brought into my life and enjoy the community that welcomed our family with open arms and hearts.  To today's #HashtagHater (I'm sure there will be more) May compassion and love find you so that you can replace the hate with a heart in your hashtags.










Monday, August 15, 2011

Compassionate Recycling

Cindy Crawford for PETA

I was having an on-line discussion this morning with a group of ladies who sell Vintage clothing and accessories about FUR and it reminded me of my previous BLOG: Wear Your Own Skin

The consensus in the group seemed to be that if the fur is Vintage one should use it rather than waste it. Some sell it and some do not. I do not sell fur at EVOLUTION VINTAGE but I totally agree about the non-waste element. I would never wear it so what can you do with your fur? There are several places and organizations that will compassionately recycle your vintage (and non-vintage) fur coats, stoles and accessories.



PETA SAYS: “Whether the animals were killed yesterday or 50 years ago, vintage fur sends the same unacceptable message as new fur—that it is OK to allow animals to languish in steel-jaw traps, have their necks snapped, or be skinned alive simply for the sake of vanity.”

Donate & Re-Cycle your old or new fur for education, helping the homeless AND helping other animals. Not only is it a compassionate choice but you will receive a tax credit. I think PETA's point with the homeless is that one would need to be destitute with no options and use the fur to keep warm and essentially stay alive. I don't think they are making an exception to those that are without homes. Some of PETA's methods are unorthodox but no matter what your opinion, they DO help animals and provide a voice for them they would not otherwise have!

PETA uses furs for education displays, to warm the homeless AND for Women/Children in Afghanistan & Iraq - Click HERE for more information on their program(s).

How To Donate?

Mail your unwanted furs to:

Attn.: Fur Campaign
PETA
501 Front St.
Norfolk, VA 23510


The Humane Society of the United States has a "Coats for Cubs" program. All of the furs received by The HSUS are sent to wildlife rehabilitators, who use the furs to warm and comfort orphaned and injured wildlife.

HOW DOES IT HELP THE ANIMALS?



"According to the HSUS "More than 200 rehabilitators from across the United States and Canada now participate in the program. The furs are cut into an appropriate size for the animal, whether it be a bobcat, fox, raccoon, squirrel, or rabbit, and placed inside the animal's enclosure. The furry blanket becomes a surrogate mother to orphaned animals, reducing stress and giving comfort."

How To Donate:

Place your fur in a sturdy box (a large padded envelope is fine for small items) and mail it to The HSUS at the following address:

The Humane Society of the United States
2100 L St., NW
Washington, D.C. 20037
Attn: Coats for Cubs



Jessica Stam for FENDI - F/W 2010

In my opinion wearing real fur is WEAK and NOT CHIC! and it is my sincere hope that fashion houses realize it, like FENDI who's brand has literally been built using the backs of animals. With all the faux fur alternatives and textiles there is now NO excuse for wearing real fur or for designers to use real fur in their designs.

Imagine a world like this??? I bet the animals can.



Style Yourself Compasionately Chic this Fall/Winter in a FAUX-FUR Vintage Bomber Jacket, Caplet Coat/Cape or 3/4 length Coat from EVOLUTION VINTAGE