Showing posts with label Respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Respect. Show all posts

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Bruce Gender: Caitlyn's Real Message

Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)


The Internet has been buzzing since Vanity Fair released the images of their July Cover Girl. We bid farewell officially to Olympian Bruce Jenner and say hello to Caitlyn Jenner, gold medal winner for bravery and ironically balls.

Bruce sat down with Diane Sawyer back in April and discussed his transformation as well as all of the personal conflict and struggle he has had internally his entire life (See the story here).

The details of his journey is not necessary to re write here but Caitlyn comes to us with a message that transcends the lines of the LGBT and/or Transgender community.

Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)

Of course she is an amazing spokeswoman for the Transgender community and I don't want to take anything away from the awareness that is being raised but to me Caitlyn's message is that of authenticity and has an inclusive application. At age 65 she is now beginning to live her authentic life. Imagine waiting so long? I'm sure most of you can as many people I know don't live authentically, not 100% anyway. 

Society and the judgement of others has such a strangle hold on people. Working in the fashion industry I see it in my clients all the time.  A great example is the moment when  someone is authentically or naturally drawn to something, a piece of clothing or an accessory. It kind of goes like this,

"Oh, I love this" ... BUT

But society will judge me.
But someone will say something hurtful or rude to me.
But no one will understand.
But I have no where to wear it.

Its a kin to a what if but its what I call a BUT IF, AKA an excuse.

Let's get real: " Society" or "they" will always be judgemental. Do you really put the opinions of strangers above your own? Recognize it is your OWN fear and take your power back.

Someone may say something hurtful or rude to you or about you, but if you don't believe it, who cares? What others think of you is none of your business.

Someones lack of understanding is their issue, not yours. You cannot be responsible for what someone does or doesn't 'get'. You can attempt to educate but let your energy to convert go no further, you need it for being fabulous.

Lastly, from a person who wears sequins to the grocery store, trust me when I confirm YOU can make "Hollywood", "New York" or wherever else you deem appropriate,wherever you are in the world in that moment. In other words there is a place to wear everything you have in your closet, right here, right now if you so choose. 
Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)

What Caitlyn has done is started an important dialogue. The press and social media is bogged down with all the details of unimportance like; fake tits, photo shop, shaved adam's apple, reality show, fame whore, Kardashian who gives a fuck?

Her Message (from my perspective):

1) The dialogue that has been started about the legitimacy of gender dysphoria. It is recognized in the DSM-5, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (by the American Psychiatric Association) as a very REAL condition. "DSM-5 aims to avoid stigma and ensure clinical care for individuals who see and feel themselves to be adifferent gender than their assigned gender. It replaces the diagnostic name “gender identity disorder”with “gender dysphoria,” as well as makes other important clarifications in the criteria. It is importantto note that gender nonconformity is not in itself a mental disorder. The critical element of gender dysphoriais the presence of clinically significant distress associated with the condition." I personally feel people are born the way they are born and it is not necessarily a "mental disorder", however if the DSM acknowledgement will get the Trans community the clinical support they need then I view this as positive and a resource to use as education.

2) The discussion about women. There is much talk online about what it means to be a woman, the issues we face as a gender and our unique set of circumstances. It has also shed some light on how far we have come but also how far we still have to with respect to equal pay for equal work, the scrutiny we are under for our appearance and unique pressures we face as women.

3) Authenticity: People are complaining (mostly religious hypocrites and the ignorant) about being a scam and a lot of people feel that they have the exceptional ability to speak for "god" and knows what "god wants". WOW! Maybe they can give me lottery numbers too? Being who you are ALWAYS comes with some kind of risk or cost. Here the cost has been, thus far, "hurting" the people that she loves and who love her. But let's consider what is gained? A life of non-deception, freedom of expression, freedom of choice that aligns with your authentic self or what I call your source. An authentic sense of happiness and radiating positive energy to those closest to her. When you are authentically happy you can feel it, as can others. A chance to really look at oneself, at the source and become what YOU want. She is also another example of money not bringing happiness. She is extremely wealthy and famous yet she spent decades struggling and living a lie. No money can buy the peace that living an authentic life can provide.

4) Courage and/or Bravery: This discussion about being brave and having courage to stand up in the face of the uncompassionate, ignorant masses. She is receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage award at the ESPYS in July.  Being honest is not always easy and one risks ridicule, hurt, and backlash. for Caitlyn this is on a much grander scale because she is in the public eye. Regardless of who you are there is always some level of risk/cost involved with honesty which could explain why so many people are not.

5) Tolerance and Respect: You do not have to agree with someones choices or understand them to be respectful. At the very least you should respect someones right to choose. In this instance of legitimate gender dysphoria I don't personally believe that Caitlyn had a choice per se. I feel she was born Caitlyn but named Bruce. She did choose, after a long battle to conform to the herd (society) to take the courage to finally become Caitlyn and live authentically.

6) Education: Educating people is the key to Tolerance and Respect. I have a son with Down Syndrome and I can't even believe how ignorant and unaccepting people still are even though this is the most common "chromosomal disorder". I can't even image how it is for people in the Trans Gender community.  Education "normalizes" issues and people who are perceived to not fit into the herd or society's view on how generic we should all be to coexist. The more Caitlyn is out there, the more people are forced to read about, look at and examine my points above.


7) Inspiration.: Caitlyn's story should serve to inspire us ALL. Imagine gender lines and assignments melting away and we all look at ourselves and our source as humans. The authenticity and bravery discussed above has been enough to inspire me. Think of the people who are still living lies. Perhaps this story has helped them come clean and live authentically. There is truly nothing more powerful, even if the story helps one person. She is leading by example and through bold and powerful action, not just words. I feel we are all here, in this shared  life experience with the ability to assist and help others. Service to others comes in many forms, today it comes in the form of a woman. 

Thank you Caitlyn and welcome to your new life.





Friday, March 21, 2014

World Down Syndrome Day 3/21

Out to dinner on Valentine's day!

Today is World Down Syndrome Day!  It is the 9th anniversary of this global celebration. The celebration centers around the Down Syndrome community, every ones unique abilities and our global connection as human beings. Today I celebrate the core foundational values that should bind us the world over; respect and equality for all people.

It is also my 400th blog post. I am so proud that this post can be dedicated to a community that I adore and that I was welcomed into with open arms on May 13, 2011 when my son Blake was born.

Thus far it has been an interesting journey, an extra chromosome means an extra full time advocacy job, extra love and and extra rewards beyond my wildest dreams.
Our Family Rocking Our Socks for WDSD & Blake! 

I have learned more about myself in the last 2.5 years than I feel like I have my whole life. For example, patients was a virtue that I truly had yet to acquire, then Blake came into my life. I am always rushing and watching time flying by but Blake's extra chromosome has forced me to slow down and take the time to experience and enjoy. As a mother to both my children and step-children I am essentially looking at the world through different eyes. I all ready feel like a better person for knowing Blake. I feel very honored to have been given the gift of also being his mom. I look forward to the rest of our journey together and the journey of educating the world about people with Down Syndrome.
The community deserves respect, equality and above all LOVE. Again, everyone deserves these basic human rights. We should all make it a daily practice to embrace and celebrate our differences really, regardless of our abilities. Let's spend our time today, and all days just enjoying each others strengths and unique characters. 
"A free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it- basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near one of them"- Charles Bukowski (author)

Monday, May 27, 2013

My Memorial Day Message

Today America is 'celebrating' Memorial Day. A day that was intended as  "a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. Formerly known as D Day, it originated after the American Civil War to commemorate the Union and Confederate soldiers who died in the Civil War. By the 20th century, Memorial Day had been extended to honor all Americans who have died while in the military service."  (via Wiki)

As a Canadian living in the US I have a unique perspective. As a Canadian I have always reflected and remembered our soldiers on Remembrance Day, November 11th which is the same as the US version, Veterans Day.  Memorial Day is not to be confused with Veterans Day. Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving, while Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans.


Culturally in the US I understand that this long weekend marks the 'beginning of summer' and people are jovial and excited to break out the BBQ and party. I could not imagine having a party on Remembrance Day. Growing up in Canada I remember it always being a very respectful, solemn day of reflection, appreciation, education and history. It continues to be so in our household today as my mother lays a wreath each Nov 11th for her uncle who was killed at age 22 in WWII fighting for Canada as an ally to the USA.

Every day should be a remembrance day of sorts for our veterans and service members. I teach my daughter about these historical days as well as have her approach and physically THANK (as do I) any service member I see in uniform or veterans with visible pins/hats/stickers as we go about our day. I feel it is important to show respect and teach future generations about the contributions service members make. They, as well as their families make serious sacrifices that none of us can really grasp unless we were in that situation. Their lives are forever changed by choosing to protect ours.

A great way to pay homage to those who gave their lived is approaching each day with gratitude and the knowledge that without the service of others, our lives would cease to exist as we know it. We enjoy all of the fabulous things life has to offer and time with our loved ones because men and women gave up theirs. 

I sincerely say THANK YOU.


Thursday, August 2, 2012

Chick-Fil-A: The Bigots Burger



 BIGOT:  "a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially: one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance"

Recently the trashy fat food chain Chick-Fil-A has publicly proclaimed their bigotry to the world as their president and CEO Dan T. Cathy felt the need to profess his opposition to same sex marriage and his proclamation that "gay marriage violated God's plan." I would like to point out Mr. Cathy although you are entitled to your opinion of intolerance and hatred, if you really knew what God's plan was you would not be murdering and selling one of "god's" creatures (chicken) and peddling fat fried food to assist in the national epidemic of obesity and all junk food related illnesses. I can confidently say that I KNOW God's plan is NOT to segregate, hurt or judge others. Did you skip the passages of your "good book" that states - “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:1-5 or "Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?" Romans: 2: 1-3

Kate Moss W Magazine

Let me be clear that I am NOT a religious person. I do not subscribe to the herd mentality. I am so sick of religious hypocrites that pick and choose from their bibles for items that apply to them on a situational basis and use it to hurt other people. This is not restricted to the Christians either; Catholics and Jehovah's Witnesses please stand up!

Kate Moss W Magazine

No matter what my personal opinion there is no denying human recorded history of the atrocities that have been committed with a religious justification. People's prejudicial opinions being one on a smaller scale. It is not my intention to make disparaging remarks about everyone who claims to be religious. I actually know a select few believers who are amazing people and for those of you that I don't know I don't hold Mr. Cathy's ignorant comments against you. I don't judge your beliefs, on the contrary I actually respect them. What I don't respect is the use of those beliefs to hurt, judge or exclude others.

I bet if someone looked a little closer at Mr. Cathy's "traditional" Christian behavior, history and marriage we would find a whole new level of hypocrisy.

How can someone CLAIM to be a good Christian when they exclude, hurt or judge their fellow human being because their life does not fit into the confining walls of their proverbial church collection plate? Do you really BELIEVE something because someone told you it was TRUTH? or you read it somewhere?



This kind of bigotry goes way past same sex marriage. Essentially Mr. Cathy is excluding ALL who do not fall into this generic, faux-religious boundaries. I think it is a fair assessment that it is "God's" plan that we all love, support and respect one another through this physical life. Why would he/she deny love to someone just because they happen to be of the same sex? based on a book written by another imperfect human?  In the wise words of my outspoken husband who happens to believe in God "God did not write religion or the bible, humans did". We are ALL imperfect, too bad we were not all HONEST. I don't claim to have any of the answers but I do KNOW that LOVE is never wrong no matter what it's form.


The moral of my story: The best thing we can do to combat the bigotry is BE OURSELVES, LOUD and PROUD! 

I usually ignore the haters (as there are a lot out there) and I let the HATE MOTIVATE, but sometimes it feels good to stand up to the bigots and bully's


I like Lady Ga Ga's lyric on the subject "I'm beautiful in my way 'Cause God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track baby I was born this way"



It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"
She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way


Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag ‒ just be a queen [x3]
Don't be!


Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (Hey hey hey)
I love my life I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (Love needs faith)


Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'cause baby you were born this way


No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to survive.
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to be brave.


I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!


Same DNA, but born this way.
Same DNA, but born this way.