Dear Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson

I wanted to write a post to Katheryn Hudson known to the world as Katy Perry after spending my birthday (and celebrating my daughter's 10th) at the Golden 1 Center in Sacramento to WITNESS her latest tour spectacle. I brought along my 15 year sold step-daughter and both girls enjoyed their very first concert.

This is a post of gratitude. 

Dearest Katheryn,

As a parent (and step-parent) of girls it is important that they have real role models. I work hard to lead by example but girls like to rebel against their mother's best efforts and guidance to forge their own path. I did it (sorry mom) and now so are my girls.They need to look to strong women outside of their home. That someone was you on the stage in Sacramento, swathed in sequins and Swarovski crystals. My girls hung on your every word and I was impressed by the series of messages you had throughout the show.

Clearly you are talented and creative but I was so pleased and inspired to see what a great sense of humor you have and a humbleness and wisdom that only comes from experience and getting kicked around by life and loved ones and getting up again, stronger and better. 

The call to your father was a great example. It is a sweet, humorous gesture that had an impact on my girls. To remind everyone in the audience to spend more time with loved ones, to always tell them that you love them was extremely important. It also inspired my girls to turn to me in the midst of your giant telephone moment and tell me that they love me and thank me for bringing them to your show.

After sitting on Saturn and orbiting over our heads you chose that boy from the audience and discussed the importance of collective energy, positive energy, intention, and putting it out there for manifestation by wishing on your star, again so eloquently done dripping in diamond hair, a silver sequin bodysuit and sparkle intergalactic footwear. I trust someone in sequins over an asshole in a suit any day and apparently so do my girls. Your discussion about material items not being the symbol of success but how happiness is truly all that matters in this life was a poignant one. It is sad that many (including your on stage guest) envy the fame and fortune you have but fail to see the other side of the proverbial coin. The shit you take, leeches you deal with, things you have sacrificed to be in the position you are in.  It was striking when above all your declaration of happiness is all that matters. These statements resonated immediately and I could see it in my girls eyes. All that society celebrates isn't what is important at all, but their eyes collectively glaze over when I start preaching about this simple truth but somehow your message got though to them. 

 And most of all, Thank you for sharing your music, joy, pain, talents and triumphs with the world. The look on my daughters face is the most meaningful manifestation of your work. The people you help with your lyrics/music and message. The girls self esteem you assist in building. The people going through hard times that your songs uplift and elevate. The singers, songwriters, poets and performance artists that you inspire to keep following their dreams.

When we put ourselves out there what we risk in vulnerability and judgment pales in comparison to the happiness and inspiration we can give to others. So when you feel unmotivated, judged, exhausted and wonder why the hell you do all of this whilst icing your knees and rocking those yoga toes .. please remember my daughters photo above and my gratitude as a parent and a woman. The future is FEMALE because of women standing up and sharing their truth, lessons, mistakes and inspiring those to do the same, to heal and to live their best lives.

I wish I could have said all of this to you in person in Sacramento ... next time.

Thank you.

Color Your World

I live, work and dream in color. I exist and grow in rainbows. 

I am inspired by color, by vibrancy in the world, radiant energies, passionate people.

I am constantly in a state of bewilderment as I look around. I look in gratitude of course but also in awe of how and why people don't encourage each other to shine their light as bright as they can. I am astonished at why more people don't help each other grow and express their unique color pallet. I for one am so exhausted seeing every ones public armor painted and camouflaged beige.

Shoe Story: 

SJP Collection FAWN in Ochre and Pink Satin. Also "Louise" in Blue Satin.

I chose to use images of my favorite colorful shoes to illustrate my point. I am not paid, thanked, compensated, treated or encouraged to promote this shoe collection, this candy or anything I share in my physical or digital life. I share what I love for the sake of sharing it. I expose the world of my unique colors in hopes it will inspire you to do the same. It doesn't have to take the form of social media over sharing, but just authenticity to every person that you encounter. You are amazing and the world needs exactly who you are in this moment, colors, flaws and all.

"The universe is my palette. I paint a glorious picture and step into it" - Alan Cohen 

Today's color pallet of blues, pinks and yellows. All looks available via EVOLUTION VINTAGE

Pluviophile Perspective

Evolution Vintage Grey Dress

Totes Umbrealla

Stylist/Image: LisaG

Our society is obsessed with labels, labels on clothing AND labels on people. I think everyone finds a strange comfort level to know that they have you figured out, categorized and have you labelled. There is one label that can be added to my list as I sit in the comfort of my home typing and listening to the rain outside do a tap dance on my back deck.

Pluviophile: (biology) Any organism that thrives in conditions of heavy rainfall

 and/or One who loves rain, a rain-lover.

I thrive, I create, I am comforted by and inspired by the RAIN. Any Rain, any time and the more consecutive days of precipitation the happier and busier you will find me. I have never been able to really explain my love and attraction to the rain and rainy days. There is a cleansing quality to rain, washing away all that was before and producing a fresh, clean slate or Tabula rasa as it were. 

Living in California has kept me rain starved through the recent drought years but sincerely grateful for even an hour of water. I am so thrilled to welcome back this extended "rainy" season.

What inspires you? 

The Guest House

Angela's Oaxacan Bowl of Floral offerings, surrounded by items she collected on a hike.

As seen at a private Yin Practice at my home. 

I always leave my Yin Yoga practice inspired on some level and today was no exception. The Yogi (the inspirational Angela) read a poem from Rumi that I have been contemplating and smiling about all day! 

For those of you who are not familiar Rumi  (1207 – 17 December 1273), was a 13th-century Persian poet, jurist, Islamic scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic. He has a big story and a rich history behind his work and wisdom His poems have been widely translated into many of the world's languages and transposed into various formats. Rumi has been described as the "most popular poet"and the "best selling poet" in the United States.   (Read More Here)

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi,

Contemplate the above perspective when your next guest comes to call. Can you imagine adapting this perspective and how you would automatically shift to a place of acceptance and gratitude for all that knocks at your door? This is exactly how this poem makes me feel. I'm creating space for everything and remembering in challenging times when we don't get what we think we want, perhaps things are only being cleared out to make room for some new delight! A guest house is a wonderful analogy as we are all just passing through, accepting the non permanence and learning lessons, bound for points beyond.

There IS true POWER in PERCEPTION.

Can you feel the shift? Time to make some Rumi ...

The beautiful Yogi goddess reclining into a child's pose, one of my favorites.
Connect with Angela via her WEBSITE

Bruce Gender: Caitlyn's Real Message

Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)

The Internet has been buzzing since Vanity Fair released the images of their July Cover Girl. We bid farewell officially to Olympian Bruce Jenner and say hello to Caitlyn Jenner, gold medal winner for bravery and ironically balls.

Bruce sat down with Diane Sawyer back in April and discussed his transformation as well as all of the personal conflict and struggle he has had internally his entire life (See the story here).

The details of his journey is not necessary to re write here but Caitlyn comes to us with a message that transcends the lines of the LGBT and/or Transgender community.

Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)

Of course she is an amazing spokeswoman for the Transgender community and I don't want to take anything away from the awareness that is being raised but to me Caitlyn's message is that of authenticity and has an inclusive application. At age 65 she is now beginning to live her authentic life. Imagine waiting so long? I'm sure most of you can as many people I know don't live authentically, not 100% anyway. 

Society and the judgement of others has such a strangle hold on people. Working in the fashion industry I see it in my clients all the time.  A great example is the moment when  someone is authentically or naturally drawn to something, a piece of clothing or an accessory. It kind of goes like this,

"Oh, I love this" ... BUT

But society will judge me.

But someone will say something hurtful or rude to me.

But no one will understand.

But I have no where to wear it.

Its a kin to a what if but its what I call a BUT IF, AKA an excuse.

Let's get real: " Society" or "they" will always be judgemental. Do you really put the opinions of strangers above your own? Recognize it is your OWN fear and take your power back.

Someone may say something hurtful or rude to you or about you, but if you don't believe it, who cares? What others think of you is none of your business.

Someones lack of understanding is their issue, not yours. You cannot be responsible for what someone does or doesn't 'get'. You can attempt to educate but let your energy to convert go no further, you need it for being fabulous.

Lastly, from a person who wears sequins to the grocery store, trust me when I confirm YOU can make "Hollywood", "New York" or wherever else you deem appropriate,wherever you are in the world in that moment. In other words there is a place to wear everything you have in your closet, right here, right now if you so choose. 

Image: (Vanityfair.com by Annie Lebowitz)

What Caitlyn has done is started an important dialogue. The press and social media is bogged down with all the details of unimportance like; fake tits, photo shop, shaved adam's apple, reality show, fame whore, Kardashian who gives a fuck?

Her Message (from my perspective):

1) The dialogue that has been started about the legitimacy of gender dysphoria. It is recognized in the DSM-5, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (by the American Psychiatric Association) as a very REAL condition. "DSM-5 aims to avoid stigma and ensure clinical care for individuals who see and feel themselves to be adifferent gender than their assigned gender. It replaces the diagnostic name “gender identity disorder”with “gender dysphoria,” as well as makes other important clarifications in the criteria. It is importantto note that gender nonconformity is not in itself a mental disorder. The critical element of gender dysphoriais the presence of clinically significant distress associated with the condition." I personally feel people are born the way they are born and it is not necessarily a "mental disorder", however if the DSM acknowledgement will get the Trans community the clinical support they need then I view this as positive and a resource to use as education.

2) The discussion about women. There is much talk online about what it means to be a woman, the issues we face as a gender and our unique set of circumstances. It has also shed some light on how far we have come but also how far we still have to with respect to equal pay for equal work, the scrutiny we are under for our appearance and unique pressures we face as women.

3) Authenticity: People are complaining (mostly religious hypocrites and the ignorant) about being a scam and a lot of people feel that they have the exceptional ability to speak for "god" and knows what "god wants". WOW! Maybe they can give me lottery numbers too? Being who you are ALWAYS comes with some kind of risk or cost. Here the cost has been, thus far, "hurting" the people that she loves and who love her. But let's consider what is gained? A life of non-deception, freedom of expression, freedom of choice that aligns with your authentic self or what I call your source. An authentic sense of happiness and radiating positive energy to those closest to her. When you are authentically happy you can feel it, as can others. A chance to really look at oneself, at the source and become what YOU want. She is also another example of money not bringing happiness. She is extremely wealthy and famous yet she spent decades struggling and living a lie. No money can buy the peace that living an authentic life can provide.

4) Courage and/or Bravery: This discussion about being brave and having courage to stand up in the face of the uncompassionate, ignorant masses. She is receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage award at the ESPYS in July.  Being honest is not always easy and one risks ridicule, hurt, and backlash. for Caitlyn this is on a much grander scale because she is in the public eye. Regardless of who you are there is always some level of risk/cost involved with honesty which could explain why so many people are not.

5) Tolerance and Respect: You do not have to agree with someones choices or understand them to be respectful. At the very least you should respect someones right to choose. In this instance of legitimate gender dysphoria I don't personally believe that Caitlyn had a choice per se. I feel she was born Caitlyn but named Bruce. She did choose, after a long battle to conform to the herd (society) to take the courage to finally become Caitlyn and live authentically.

6) Education: Educating people is the key to Tolerance and Respect. I have a son with Down Syndrome and I can't even believe how ignorant and unaccepting people still are even though this is the most common "chromosomal disorder". I can't even image how it is for people in the Trans Gender community.  Education "normalizes" issues and people who are perceived to not fit into the herd or society's view on how generic we should all be to coexist. The more Caitlyn is out there, the more people are forced to read about, look at and examine my points above.

7) Inspiration.: Caitlyn's story should serve to inspire us ALL. Imagine gender lines and assignments melting away and we all look at ourselves and our source as humans. The authenticity and bravery discussed above has been enough to inspire me. Think of the people who are still living lies. Perhaps this story has helped them come clean and live authentically. There is truly nothing more powerful, even if the story helps one person. She is leading by example and through bold and powerful action, not just words. I feel we are all here, in this shared  life experience with the ability to assist and help others. Service to others comes in many forms, today it comes in the form of a woman. 

Thank you Caitlyn and welcome to your new life.

Judgment: Not For Me

Lady Justice

My husband is back with his second guest blog about judgment (If you missed his first post read it HERE). We all do it, GUILTY as charged. 

What we want you to think about is how your judgments of others impacts YOUR life and energy. 

David share's his personal experience and the tools he uses to overcome the socially embedded 

judgment of others.

I would like to invite you to participate in a practice that I have found to be very beneficial in reducing negativity in my life.  To start I would like to state that I have been guilty of being consistently judgmental without giving it much thought or realization.  In today’s western culture I am but one of the herd in stating this.  

What, me judgmental?  No you must have me confused with so and so.  She is always spreading gossip.  And me, well I am just stuck there listening.  Listen I donate to good causes, I am always there to lend an ear while offering good advice.  I care about my loved ones and go out of my way to support the good in life.   Well guess what?  There is a bit more to our story.  To dive a little deeper I had some fun with this and asked several people who I am frequently around if they were judgmental.  Unsurprisingly most of them said no.    Ironically while judging them on their judgments I saw quite the contrary.  Think about that one for a second? 

Before I go on I would like to hone in on what I am talking about.  I am not talking about big ticket issues that raise major concerns such as child abuse, wars, or even in some cases politics (I will stay away from religions as well).  I am talking about the snap judgments made in so many moments that make up daily life.  

“Learn how to drive you inconsiderate idiot!  Did you just see that guy?”  Moments later I cut someone off while answering my cell phone looking up to see a homeless person with their sign.  I think to myself your sign should say “Give me some of your hard earned money so I can sit on my lazy ass and buy drugs and alcohol”.  I would constantly judge without recognizing any real intention.  This was often just based on appearance even when I didn’t have any knowledge of the person I was looking at.  I didn’t even realize that I was guilty of this.  It had become second nature.  I always felt like a loving and compassionate person yet I would behave this way daily.  My mind would say, “Wow look at that fake chick, fake everything and I bet the nice car is paid for by her husband who aspired to marry the trophy wife”.  My next thought would be of something completely different as though that is perfectly normal (by the way what is normal?).

Even though some of our judgments may be accurate they really are not promoting a well-balanced sense of peace and acceptance.  My personal experience is that these thoughts brought me unhealthy tension.  

In a society with so much judgment it has been ingrained into much of our daily thinking.  Take a moment to ponder the media and advertising especially as it relates to women.  You are expected to have unblemished skin, little to no body fat, a perfect nose, have a big title, make six figures a year, wear designer clothes, have perfect obedient children and the list goes on and on.  Don’t like the color of your eyes?  No worries we can fix that. Don’t like your breasts?  we can fix that too.  As a matter of fact we will suck the fat right off your body so you don’t have to lift a finger just pay the tab.  I see so many good people striving for improvement in their appearance and material lives just to be accepted and not judged in a negative manner.  Many of these people come to realize much later on that they have missed out on life’s precious moments putting forth so much energy into this.

  

Finally I came to a place in my journey where I realized I needed to address this behavior and thought process.  I won’t go on and list the many examples in conversations I have had with others sharing the commonality in judging others to make ourselves feel superior.  It’s ironic as many of these behaviors being judged we have been guilty of at some point in our own lives.  Most of it is just plain old gossip and ends up hurting others.  As I became more aware of this negative energy I was putting out I became disgusted in how judgmental I was.  Being a father and a business owner I wanted to be a better role model and curve my thoughts to a more positive avenue.

Okay so enough already, you get the big picture! My solution is the simple mantra, “It’s not for me to judge”.  I recite this every time I recognize I am judging others in a negative context. I say it to myself or out loud during a time where a conversation or thoughts turns judgmental.  When I refer to a negative context it does not apply to when I think highly of someone which can be viewed as a judgment in and of itself.  This does not feel like I am judging them as much as it feels more like recognition, inspiration or support.  I notice this has more to do with admiration and love rather than snap judgments based on appearance or unwelcome behaviors.  

When someone is being intentionally disrespectful engaging in their motive only causes me anger and negative energy hence they are successful in bringing me down.  When I say my mantra “It’s not for me to judge”, I quickly move on to thoughts that aligned with my authentic self.  In taking the high road I instantly feel a sense of internal peace and renewed health.  As I practice this application to avoid judgment I often experience a feeling of invincibility.  No longer is it easy for people to get under my skin.  After all it is not for me to judge their behavior.  This way of thinking creates more heightened awareness and a surplus energy. I noticed the negativity in others dissipating as when I simply stopped engaging with their judgments they become frustrated and put their toxic energy elsewhere.   

Next time you recognize a snap judgment rising up in your thoughts squash it to oblivion with the simple statement “It’s not for me to judge”.  Ahhhh, now doesn’t that feel good?  Not only does it feel good it empowers you by eliminating the negative energy suck that stewing on things produces.  Enjoy and share your success with others. If you choose not to, well, “it’s not for me to judge”.

David Hergenroeder

Eileen Kramer: 100 Years Of Creative Energy

Eileen Kramer in 'Indian Love Song', 1952.

I have recently become familiar with the name Eileen Kramer. She is a 100 year old dancer and creative artist who refuses let age or vision/health limitations stop her creative process or cease her creative energy. She is trying to get her newest show ("The Early Ones") to the stage and has started a crowd funding page to do so. With 6 days left and $14,072 dollars to raise to reach her goal of $26,000 she has totally inspired me to share her story and make a donation toward her dream.

I see so many women, myself included making excuses for things we did not do or won't do. Eileen is a shining example of someone who has let their passion fuel their life and not not let excuses, like age for example stand in the way of her creative process or her dreams. She is also a beautiful link to the history of dance, choreography and costuming in this genre.

Watch Eileen and learn about her project here:

At 100 years young she maintains creative control of her vision from the choreography to the costumes. The funds raised will go to pay the fee of the 9 dancers in her show, provide costumes, pay musicians and composer in charge of the music.

As an original member of the Australian Bodenwieser Dance Company, a pioneer in contemporary dance she has been performing for the past 75 years. She shows no sign or intention of stopping or even slowing down and and from her creative soul to mine I am left in awe in completely inspired. 

She has even written an autobiography about her journey of self realization as a creative artist.

Buy it

Back ground image: Photo of Eileen Kramer and Jean Raymond in Bodenwieser's „Waterlilies“, around 1940.


Can you help?
Make a Donation and/or Share This Post! 

Bloom Where You Are Planted

Nordstrom Catalog - Feb 2015

I love this notion of blooming where you are planted, in other words there is no geographical excuse for not being who you are in this exact moment. There is also no excuse for not being able to express yourself authentically, in essence wearing what you want.

This notion is a very powerful and empowering one. It disables you from handing away your power to the universe or external circumstances. You may wish to be in another place in your life, geographical or otherwise but really all we have is NOW. Dig into your life as well as your closet and bloom right where you are.  You feel like wearing a cocktail dress to a lunch? DO IT  you think you will be over dressed? SO WHAT. For the purpose of this blog I'm using fashion as part of the metaphor but truly dig your heel's into your life, in this very moment, exactly where you are, as you are. Enjoy the sun on your face and know the grass is greener where you water it, where you are planted, not way over there ...

Need some floral inspiration?

Vintage Floral Gown (available via Evolution Vintage

Pink 'Fawn' Vintage Glass Foil Pimps via SJP Collection (available via Nordstrom with black Grosgrain detail as pictured) or with Nude Grosgrain Detail at Neiman Marcus

Where will you bloom?

Michael Kors Floral-Print Cotton-Voilé Tunic (SALE: $595)

Vintage Floral Dress & Vintage Necklace

Both available via Evolution Vintage

Vintage BoHo Floral Dress, Vintage Hat & Belt

Both Available via Evolution Vintage

Fashion? Who Cares?

John Galliano for DIOR 2007

I do.

Why?

Artistry: There is a serious level of skill, talent and creativity that goes in to creating garments. I am not referring to your $5 Walmart, sweatshop t-shirt but into real FASHION. Fashion to me has always been an amazing art form. It is the only art  that we actually get to live our lives in.  

Example, true Haute Couture. I could take centuries of examples of amazingly crafted Haute Couture but have a look at this current DIOR garment. 200 hours of work by hand later. The work that goes into creating this seemingly 'simple' skirt is amazing. Now you can appreciate the work and detail going into the true couture gowns and other garments of this nature. To me it is ART.

Language: Fashion to me is also a form of language and expression. I express my emotions and feelings through what I wear. I am what I call a moody dresser. I dress according to my mood and always follow my authentic style instincts. I think people can get a sense of who I am through my personal style. Your clothing can speak without you having to say a word.

This look is comprised of Fashions Past and Present. The Dress (70's) and rhinestone bracelet (60's) are both Vintage, the clutch from Forever 21 and shoes SJP Collection "Daphne".


Empowerment: Yes you read that right. You are probably thinking how could what seems to be a frivolous, materialistic, seemingly superficial industry possibly empower you? There are a few reasons. First, there is that shopping moment when you find something that you are instinctively drawn too, fits you and is in your budget. For me this is the equivalent to the stars aligning. Words cannot articulate the feeling I get. Its chemical, exciting and empowering. Fashion has also allowed me to take my power back and use clothing in a way to build my self concept. I FEEL good when I dress authentically and take the opportunity to put my best foot forward each day. I know a lot of women who feel frustrated and down on themselves when it comes to their wardrobes, they know what they like but somehow lack the courage to wear it. I on the other hand am so grateful for fashion giving me the opportunity to express what I want, my way during my daily life.

Linda Evengelista for Gianni Versace 1993 - Image: Richard Avedon

Inspiration: Between the imagery and the artistry of the clothing  I am always left inspired by fashion. I fell in love with this art form when I was around 8 years old and I've never stopped looking. I adore this medium and its association with music, culture, art, photography, etc. The theatrics and styling of the runway shows and the fashion editorials that have left me inspired and spawned several creative endeavours of my own. Fashion to me is a limitless source of inspiration. I like to look to the past a lot as the history of fashion tells a great story.

 VOGUE -  2003 by Annie Lebovitz (Model: Natalia Vodianova, Designer Christian Lacroix and Mad Hatter Millinar Stephen Jones)

Bazaar - April 2010 - Demi Moore

For some people clothing is simply a societal norm and necessity. Some individuals put very little thought into the process of dressing or if it means anything to them at all.

What do you think about fashion? 

I Love Strippers!

Image from 1943 New Orleans Strip Club

I love strippers!! A statement you probably don't hear too often from a married mother of two. I'm sure it got your attention though and now that I have your eyes I want to elaborate.

The type of stripper I am referring too isn't the "traditional" kind you might be thinking of. The type I refer to are individuals who strip down their outer walls, facade's, fronts, masks and all other socially approved protection from the truth of what lies both outside and inside.

I had a visit recently with a man who used to be our neighbour. He was always delightful, articulate and kind but this time he was different.  He has been through serious trauma as a soldier who spent time in Iraq compounded by several other personal issues. We have not seen him since 2011 and in the interim he has spent time travelling across the USA, essentially stripping.

It was uniquely refreshing spending an afternoon with a person who was stripped down, open, genuine, honest. His honesty was not just for the good things as did furnish us with wonderful stories of travel, spirit and truth but also shared the dark, real things that most of us shy away from. He has and is facing himself and working toward being the best HE can be, leaving the traditional, cookie-cutter expectations of the world behind as he travels HIS journey. We had an amazing exchange of truth, energy and love from a stripped down place. There we were, all of us, authentic and facing one another with full accountability of our choices, acceptance of our feelings and thoughts on our improvement.

This visit sparked my thinking internally about the appreciation I have for those I deem "strippers", and more importantly my motivation to become one 100% of the time. Let me preface this by saying there are very FEW people that I would give this lovely title too but I hope there will be more after this post is shared. It is indeed a difficult task to remove ones clothes in front of strangers and to stand there completely physically exposed and open to criticism, judging, stigma and negative energy as a traditional stripper.  It is equally, and I would submit exponentially more difficult to literally be stripped down and be openly and authentically facing the world. No masks, no facade's or socially acceptable phrases or expectations. Nothing, just who YOU really are living and operating in your space the way YOU want.

The truth is, we are all the same at our source and are all connected. We somehow loose sight of this fact during the haze of a fast-paced, socially acceptable life.

Take a moment today to visualize what your life would be life as a 'stripper'. You could face the world with 100% authenticity, love and positive intention. All your walls are gone, no protection from the outside but a pathway for your energy to flow and exchange with others. You could and would be living the life YOU want, on your terms, on your clock and in the manner that best serves your positive intentions and brings you back to the source, whatever that looks like for you.

 You WILL be judged but it would no longer matter.

Would you consider becoming a 'stripper' an option for your life? or is the safety of the conventional, protective space better for you?

I would love to hear your thoughts and continue the conversation in the comments.

You're Fat and It's Your Fault: Guest Blog

Myself and My Husband - Evolution Rewind Ring Shoot

Image by: Hayley Marie Photography

My two favorite concepts/words are ACCOUNTABILITY and TRUTH. I truly believe that is where all of your personal power is housed. Today I welcome my husband David with his first guest blog discussing his experience with these very issues, taking accountability and responsibility for your life in the general sense. Specifically he wants to introduce you to his friend pain and truth as they  pertain to life changes. We have just started a new year and I would wager that the majority of the goals/resolutions have to do with fitness and weight loss so this post will be a great motivator.

Come on let’s face it if you’re fat it’s your fault. Ouch that hurts!  Hey, that’s not politically correct.  How dare I say such a thing?  Please give me something I can digest, you say.  Like how about a magical fat loss pill? Oh yeah that didn’t work and made me ill.  Wait a second what about that new juice cleanse diet that so and so just lost all that weight using? That’s right it all came back and with a vengeance not to mention too much planning, too much preparation, the mess and regardless what they said I was hungry most of the time when they promised I wouldn’t be.  Oh I know!  What about that packaged diet plan where I buy all their food? That’s right I just couldn’t justify the cost or really afford it as it was another temporary fix with yet another big letdown.  Hold on; hold a minute while you munch on that tasty comfort food snack that says I will deal with this tomorrow.  Well honey let me remind you today is the tomorrow of yesterday and that ditch isn’t going to dig itself.  

Companies have made millions in convincing you that there is a painless way to lose weight without all the discomforts that come with a lifestyle change.  What was that? a lifestyle change?  Oh I’m not looking for that, I am just looking to drop some weight then resume my life again.  Well then refer to the top paragraph and continue to ignore the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room or better referred to as the truth.  

Before I go on let’s be realistic as this applies to adults who are in charge of what they eat and not the many abused children who are at the mercy of what their parents feed them. Yes it is a form of abuse to feed your children unhealthy food. Have you seen the statistics on Childhood obesity?  Let me preface the rest of this piece by making clear that my intention is not to hurt or belittle anyone but to merely bring forth the truth and illustrate what we all already know.

Okay so the “truth”.  The truth is a lifestyle change! As the specifics mentioned above in the first paragraph are not sustainable.  Even if there are few who are successful in those endeavors the fact is they are the exception to the rule.  So what constitutes a lifestyle change? Yeah you already know the equation for good health – a balanced diet low in fat, sugar and processed foods – high in fruits, vegetables, nuts and lean meats, etc.  – regular exercise, rest and low stress.  Wow no wonder few achieve their goals in this instant gratification society.  It sounds simple enough but can be extremely challenging if not approached right.

Alright enough already what is the secret sauce?  Embracing and accepting pain and discomfort.  Okay for all of you still reading and ready to commit to change start small with realistic goals.  As you build momentum you can push a little harder.  

Rather than continue preaching I will share my personal experience.  I struggled to bring forth change in my daily habits I continued to fail only to resort back to my unhealthy lifestyle but most often to a higher degree.  I started to lose confidence in myself and would often give up with the “I’ll start tomorrow syndrome”.  Remember today is yesterday’s tomorrow and tomorrow truly never comes in terms of definition.

After so many failed attempts I was experiencing a far greater pain than that of a lifestyle change, my pain was internal and was haunting my self-esteem and well being.  Little did I realize I was becoming accustomed to pain and discomfort but of the unhealthy kind.  Realizing this was a turning point and became one of my greatest motivating factors.  I understood that in order to be successful I not only had to expect and accept the pain and discomfort but I had to embrace it, look forward to it and eventually crave it.  We have all heard the sayings, “No pain no gain – Pain is weakness leaving the body”.  Well this knowledge has been around for years however multimillion dollar companies with large marketing budgets have been very successful in making us believe we can achieve our goals without pain and discomfort. 

 Yes losing weight or any lifestyle change is painful and brings forth much discomfort in the beginning.  I use the word pain as that was my experience.  Discomfort yeah but in the beginning discomfort really didn’t capture it as well as the simple term pain.  I am neither a doctor nor an expert however I am just like many of you reading this, the end user.  

So back to my story, I committed to change via the acceptance that pain was key in successfully changing my lifestyle.  I planned my meals, my workouts, etc. as that was the easy part.  What I changed in my approach was in the result I was looking for – pain & discomfort.  The result was instantaneous! Wow I didn’t even have to wait the thirty days it normally takes to see a difference.  I humored myself all along the way.  I would wake up and pain had become my unrelenting friend.  She was always there putting me in check.  My mindset had shifted as I knew when she appeared I was making strides and she was a reflection I was moving in the right direction.  The pain I had been feeling from being unsuccessful and losing confidence was slowly migrating to my friend who I would start out with each day.  I really didn’t realize this until the monumental shift had already taken place.  This was in as little as a couple of weeks.  That’s right weeks, not days remember we are acknowledging the truth.  Again my expected result was not weight loss as in a couple of weeks my weight loss was minimal.  We all know weight loss is a marathon not a sprint.  If you lose weight in the metaphor of a sprint and keep it off you are definitely the exception to the rule.  

How did I make pain my friend?  I awoke and went to sleep each night expecting her ever presence first.  She didn’t just arrive she was there.  So I talked to her and would take her down a notch or two with counting my blessing no matter how small.  Breathing is a constant and has been used for centuries in mediating and being more in the moment.  I would be thankful for breathing as it is a necessity to live so I would give thanks.  I would give thanks for my loved ones, where I lived, that I was in a society that is so overfed that we have this overweight dilemma.  How thankful I was not to be in a position of pain from lack of not having any food and many people in the world who face this daily.  Stop and take a moment to ponder that.  Feeling embarrassed?  Me too.  

One day when conversing with my new friend (pain) I thanked her for pulling me into the moment that I strive for in meditation each day.  Here all this time pain brought me into the moment much easier than all the breathing techniques had.  Pain was slowly becoming a catalyst for improvement in so many other areas in my life as well.  Those in my life were recognizing I was changing and would make positive remarks.  I was gaining confidence each day and now had a way to measure change, yeah you got it by my new good friend – pain.  I even named her as we were becoming quite close.  As time went on I had good days and bad days but she was always there.  When I would back slide she was gone and her brother (the internal pain of failure) would return.  He was not my friend and I never liked him.  She despised him as well.  I yearned for her when I would backslide as I came to realize she always had my best interest at hand.

Unfortunately she subsided into obscurity in time (depending on how you apply yourself will determine how long until she subsides).   Months had passed and low and behold I was confident, fit and was enjoying internal peace most of the time.  

As I faced challenges in other areas in my life I knew I had the secret sauce and lost the fear I once carried with change.  As an example I had the confidence to leave a twenty year career that paid good and had me in what is referred to as the “Golden Handcuffs”.  I left that job as it was not fulfilling nor matched my core values and started my own company.  I used the same practice with fear as I did with pain and embraced the change in my career.  My goal was never money but to create an environment that aligned with my core values.  The result of this approach is that I now enjoy working for myself in a successful and fast growing company.  The money was never my goal as the weight loss was never my goal however it became the byproduct.

Again, my intention in writing this piece is to share my experience in hopes that it helps anyone struggling with pain  of weight loss or any change. 

David Hergenroeder  

Thanks David for that digital kick in the ass. Truly your current relationship with gravity, fitness level or any other circumstance IS within YOUR control and power. Even if there is something out of your control in life you can control your response, thus it is all up to YOU. So, wow - I am fat and it's my fault? What a powerful and motivating concept! Cheers to accountability and embracing the uncomfortable to achieve the desirable.

Never Forgotten: Gianni Versace

Seventeen years ago today fashions brightest light was brutally extinguished. It was because of  Gianni Versace that I fell into my life long love affair with Fashion. What remains is an amazing legacy of bold, unique, designs and a giant gaping hole in the industry. He will always remain an inspiration to me.

I still remember where I was when I got the news. I didn't want to believe it and I still don't. Seventeen years later I look back at the child I was, so enamoured with this man's vision for women and liberating them through garments that were way ahead of their time. Garments that the house of Versace continues to make a gallant attempt at emulating but never quite hits the same mark. He was a genius, icon and will always be an muse to me. 

I can't help but believing that the style and fashion landscape would be a different place if Gianni were still here. I long for the day's where the supermodels reigned supreme and the celebrities only occupied the front rows at fashion shows, not the magazine covers. He created the supermodel, the spectacle that we now know as fashion shows and presentations with his over the top cast, music, orchestration and front row. From his mother's dress shop in Southern Italy (Reggio di Calabria) he was THE trailblazer to the celebrity, the supermodel, unique textiles and glamour that was so bad it was way too good.

Image: Helmut Newton

Gianni had an attitude in the business I wish more designers and successful people in general would replicate; There is room for everyone. He would give "unknown" creative's (like Brian Atwood, Todd Oldham, etc..) opportunities that they never otherwise would have received. His pursuit was beauty and expression. He never wanted to stop learning, experiencing and growing from all corners of the world and culture.

1990

In the wise words of Mr. Versace, "Beauty will save the world"

And he is still right.

1946-1997