Grief is a part of all of our lives. At one time or another we have to accept the fact that our journeys here have to come to an end. The thought of living without the ones we love is the hardest one to grasp or accept I feel. I have grieved for loved ones who have past; grandparents, uncles, friends of the family but never someone closest to me like a parent, sibling, spouse or child.
Because grief and loss is such a big part of the human experience it is something I feel a dialogue should be started about. Are you currently "stuck" in life under the grip of grief? or are you not living the life you want because you can't stop grieving?
I have a tool that can help!
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I have had the pleasure of connecting with author, Christina Rasmussen of the new book: Second First's: Live, Laugh and Love Again I have read her book and found that there are several tools you can use to move forward with your life after loss. I have also found that many of these tools are universal in their application and are farther reaching than just to those who are experiencing loss.
She talks about several items in association with grief such as the duality of loss: When the world inside no longer matches the world outside.
One of the key messages is not to give up your power to grief, she says "There is so much inherent power in loss, power that can be used in an unlimited source of fuel to set yourself into motion so you can start the process of rebuilding your life (p.23)"
Her motto: Time doesn't heal. Action Does!
I'm sure by now you are wondering who is she? Does she have the 'credentials' to be giving advice about grief? My answer is YES! and her credentials are two-fold. Her educational background and training is as a therapist and crisis intervention counselor. Ironically the topic of her master’s thesis was the stages of bereavement. Her experience and education in grief was elevated to a whole other level when her husband and father of her two young children passed away from cancer in his early 30's. She is an expert on grief in both theory and practice. She believes, "When we are starting over from a significant loss, we pretty much have to renegotiate everything in our lives". and that "Grief is a factor in the evolution of our souls".
The book presents her "Life Re-Entry Model" and talks a lot about "Plugging into your life", which are both amazing concepts and tools for people not only suffering from loss but who want/need to start a new life or go down a new path. You can get more information about her Life Re-Entry Program HERE.
I also connected with her discussion about friendships and how it is okay to leave some of them behind. Some people feel like they have to maintain "friendships" with people because they have a lot of time invested, or they were there during tough life challenges. She points out that sometimes the things that used to connect us are no longer there and it is healthy to say goodbye to people of the past. A very liberating concept on it's own.
I want to add she now is re-married and has the life she did not know she needed or wanted. She is happy, productive and here to help YOU get the life you deserve and break free of the grip that grief has on you.
Visit her WEBSITE
If you are suffering in any form, from any loss this book is well worth the read and the $13 price tag.
Part II of this piece is an interview with the author. Coming Soon...
Will you read the book? What has been the toughest part of grieving for you?
Share in the comments below.
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